Well…. then, read on….
Let me explain with examples…
You may be guilty about eating that chocolate or ice-cream when on a diet! Are you guilty of not exercising? Are you guilty about shouting and screaming at your kids or spouse, once again, in spite of promising yourself that you won’t do it? As a student do you feel guilty if you watch television or read a book instead of studying, especially during exams?
Guilt is hugely associated with religion or God. Very often people with O.C.D. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and Depression feel guilty about every little thing, real or imagined. This is called pathological guilt.
Also, there is another guilt I want to discuss, that is survivor guilt. When a loved one is no more, we may feel guilty that we are alive and they are no more!
So, what is guilt? Guilt is a feeling that makes you say “I will never do this again!” Do you notice, however, that you keep repeating the very same behavior, even though you feel guilty about it!
Some people think that if you do something wrong you ought to feel guilty about it at least, or else you would be shameless! Well, the examples of guilt I have mentioned above should give you an idea that feeling guilty about these things is pretty much useless. You will only end up doing it all over again and make yourself feel bad. You could have low self-esteem because of the constant guilt!
Let’s see how you can break free of this habit through some simple and effective N.L.P.( Neuro-Linguistic Programming) techniques.
- Relax in your favorite chair or sofa.
- Notice that your guilt is mostly your thoughts going on and on, like a broken record.
- Change the pace, rhythm and tonality of your thoughts. Remember, I am not asking you to change the wordings!
a) So, hear the same thoughts in your head in a slow drag…drag…fashion, every word going slow….ly in your head. Notice that you will feel better!
b) Now next, pick up a peppy song in your head and fit these thoughts as lyrics of this song, that is hear the thoughts in a sing-song fashion in your head! Notice that you will feel like laughing….you are no longer feeling guilty!
c) Hear your thoughts now like a small kid about 3 to 4 years old was saying it, cutely, very innocently! What do you feel? Well….. Definitely better!
Once you are feeling better, think of the times when you were confident, happy and achieving the things you set out to do. Visualize yourself sticking to your diet or exercise, or focusing on your studies or being able to use humor and handling your anger.
Hope this helps. Practice is the key here; you can rid yourself of your guilt and transform yourself!